Dress as Well as You Want to Feel


· feeling alone      · insecure
· sense of heaviness    · self-doubt

Outer: Smoking loafers by Miu Miu.
Inner: I’m fully supported and loved. I have great friendships that remind me of who I truly am.

warningWARNING Wear may lead to a boost in energy, enthusiasm and overall mood.


The day I met my husband, I wasn’t feeling great. In fact, I didn’t want to go anywhere at all, let alone meet the love of my life. That afternoon I was wearing frumpy sweatpants, un-brushed hair randomly gathered in a ponytail, and a pair of Ugg boots that my big toe had pushed a large hole through. I’d recently been laid off from my job, was worried about paying my bills, and still quietly moping over a break-up that had happened over a year prior. I felt like a mess, an unlovable mess. Why should I even bother “going out?” I mean, what was the point?

My roommate of several years came into my bedroom and demanded that I get up. She saw my sadness and said, “You look awful, no wonder you feel so horrible. Go take a shower and leave the rest to me.” I came back to find a simple, but elegant, black dress (which was hers) next to a pair of red heels that I’d forgotten I owned, and a hairdryer, curling iron, and makeup laid out on my bureau. She smiled and said, “We all have our low spells, girl, but I have a secret: a fresh hairstyle and a good pair of shoes can turn any situation around.”


I reluctantly sat down and watched as she blew out my hair and carefully wrapped it around the warm iron. As she proceeded, I couldn’t help but notice my mood was shifting. By the time I slid my feet into the bright red stilettos, I felt like a different person. I didn’t feel frumpy anymore. Heck, I felt hot!

I’d long understood that the way we dress affects the impression we make on others, but up until that moment I didn’t realize how it affected my own well-being. Many applied psychology studies have proven that everything about a person’s clothing, from color to fit, affects one on a psychological level. I was proof that changing one’s appearance could shift one’s mood.


My girlfriend’s secret worked. I oozed confidence the evening I met my husband, and we’re now approaching 10 years of marriage. Her trick was simple but powerful—she reminded me of my self-worth and beauty. I still have days I don’t feel 100%. On those days, I head to my medicine cabinet, a.k.a. my closet, and prescribe myself an outfit that looks the way I want to feel. It’s not always easy, but as I step into my shoes, I intentionally step into a more positive and loving mindset. Intentions are meaningful, and our clothing can be used deliberately, whenever we choose.

Using fashion in a positive manner is an act of loving oneself. It is the responsibility of all of us to take care of our physical vessels, to keep them in good repair and running well. I dress the way I want to feel, everyday, no matter if anyone will see me or not. And I do my best to be the kind of friend who shows up with a curling iron and a pair of shoes when someone I care about is feeling blue. A little love can go long way. What does your outfit say about your mood today?

Where Love Wants To Go



· desire to control another    · feeling unloved
· broken heart    · feeling alone

 Heels by Prada, DIY sequin heart shoe clips, DIY shoe heart sole.
INNER: I connect to love and fill my cup to the brim.

warningWARNING: Wear may instigate a full heart and a desire to share that overflow with another. Caution: wear may instigate feelings unbridled contentment.

1These adorable heart clips are the perfect DIY Valentines Day shoe accessory. Make your own!

What is love? Sometimes we give it away, and other times we receive it. We withhold love, and it can be withheld from us. Love is more than an emotion; it’s an ineffable force, like gravity, that can pull, connect, and grow.

Love can catch us by surprise and disappoint like no other. That is, when we try to put it in a controlled container. Love is messy. Love is free. And we all want to experience it.

The best way I’ve ever been able to explain love is through this simple poem (author unknown):

Love is the sweetest thing that I know,
You keep it around by letting it go.
And you follow close and you follow slow.
Let love take you where love wants to go.

jasmine-amber-heart-shoesThere is nothing like walking with love on your soles. Image by Jasmine Amber Photography. Check out her site for amazing bridal photography.

Love is letting go. One of the greatest gifts we’ve been given is the gift of choice. To try to control love is futile. You can choose to connect to love. Or not. But none of us can exert power over it.

Love comes from the overflow. Fill your own cup. Respect yourself. Take care of yourself to the highest degree possible. When your cup is filled to the brim, it’s easy to extend that overflow to another. If they don’t want to partake, then smile and let them be on their way. It’s the same with a lover, friend, or even our children (or parents). Love never puts itself upon another or drains from another.

To love is to let go.

Love is always available. Ask to feel love’s presence, and you’ll be filled, not by someone else but by the universe. It’s always here, we just need to connect and invite it in.

ShannonPradaMarbleThis and the first featured snapshot were taken by my friend and creative muse Ayn Carrillo Gailey.

Fill yourself with love, and then fill another. And let love take you where love wants to go.


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Let Love Take You Where Love Wants To Go

My daughter is wearing Michael Kors Mary Janes and I’m wearing boots by Celine

Love is the sweetest thing that I know,
You keep it around by letting it go.
You follow close and you follow slow,
And let love take you where love wants to go.

I didn’t write this (and don’t know who did– send me an email if you can help me give proper credit), but have always found it to be the perfect poem about love. When I saw my 8 year-old wobbling out the door in my heels this morning it was all I could think about as I hovered behind her in an attempt to prevent a seven am trip to the hospital. It worked, if you are wondering, which is why I am happily sitting here instead of the ER.

What do your shoes say about love?



She Kept a Tight Circle

Boots by Dr. Martens

There’s nothing like being surrounded by people who root for you. People who have your back and push you upward. A group that believes there is enough room at the top for everyone. That one of our success means all of our success.

It’s more incredible yet, to stand beside my gals (and guys) and encourage them to reach for the stars. If they stumble, they know they’ll see a line of stilettos encouraging them to get up and try again.

Yup, these are my kind of friends and I am happy to have a lot of y’all playing alongside me these days.

I once heard that a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten the words. I must say it’s one of the nicest things to have and one of the best things to be.