I’m in a Dysfunctional Relationship—with Myself


Sole Prescription Pharmacy Dr. Shannon Bindler, M.A., C.E.C.
Oh, inertia is an interesting earthly principle. A body or object in motion tends to stay in motion. So how does one move from stagnation (in mind, body, emotions, or spirit) to flow and movement? Running shoes! Running shoes have soles that are made to support and propel the physical body as it moves. Whether they're made of foam, silicon, air or gel, cushioning systems are one of the most important aspects of the modern running shoe. Long distance running requires dedication, and this shoe is designed to support an athlete to stay on course until she reaches the finish line. These shoes can also be used to remind non-marathon runners to remain dedicated to whatever goal line they intend to cross—be it literal, metaphorical or simply a deadline.
A running shoe is prescribed to individuals suffering from one or more of the following feelings or experiences: lethargy, distraction, wanting to “give up”, feeling stuck or confused.
Wear may incite boundless energy, confidence and staying power. May lead to unwavering leadership abilities and dedication. Overuse may create a surplus of accomplishments on the worldly plane.

Read full shoe Rx for DEDICATION here

I’m in love with a girl who doesn’t always treat me right. She’s dramatic, angry and can be annoyingly uptight. My girl is impulsive and moody, but when she’s centered she shines blindingly bright. And on those days, I couldn’t imagine loving anyone more.

We dance, we sing. We talk through the night. We fight. I hate her. I love her. We make up, again. No matter how many times I wish I could leave her, it’s impossible to escape her scrumptiously devious ways because my lover, my lady, she is me.

This is my first blog post in several months. I went on a journey. I swear in a past life, I must have been a monk because every few years or so I feel the need to abandon the world and retreat. I question who I am, what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it. I pull away from distractions and attempt to realign with what’s really important.


This summer was simple but profoundly beautiful. My main goal was to remain as present as I could with my daughter. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. We hiked, went rock climbing, sea kayaking, to the water park…  I attempted to listen to everything she said (and she says a lot, so this was challenging). I found moments where I felt like a kid—giggling like my ten-year-old self would have as we made up songs or played freeze tag in a wave pool.

I also went on a physical outer/inner journey. I attended something called Peace Awareness Training (or PAT) in Lake Arrowhead. For a few days I felt unshakable, as if nothing or no one could throw me off course. I understood the universe and my place in it, and that knowing was beyond amazing! Then, I returned to the world, and a few weeks later I found myself, well, dealing with the world. It was frustrating to feel that kind of solidness and then seemingly loose touch with it, but now that I’ve experienced whatever that was (kind of an ineffable thing to talk about) I’m aware that I’m still changing in ways that continue to unfold… the word would be ‘etcetera’…

On my quest, I learned some important pieces about my relationship with myself. You may ask: What is it that you discovered? Well, I’ll tell you (whether you really want to know or not): I really like my lady, myself. I’m getting a kick out of my quirks and realize that those messy aspects are what add character to my masterpiece called life. And on the darker side, I became aware of the ways in which I was sabotaging my relationship with her. I was unconsciously withholding things from her that she needs to be happy (like being dedicated to writing this blog, neglecting my exercise regimen or forgetting to make time for fun). I’m recommitting, I’m backing myself up. I’m dedicated to loving her and sticking it through. It’s not easy… she can be a real character… but she’s mine, and I accept her unconditionally.


So with that recommitment, you can continue to find me writing here. I’m reminding myself that it’s a marathon, not a race. I’m back in it for the long haul. I think that like actual marriage, our relationship with ourselves needs to be updated and revisited. I’m committed. I’m devoted. I’m dedicated. It’s all gonna be all right.

Send me a note—I’d love to say, “hi.”

Experience a Miracle, Right Now

Shanali Martin wearing Romance Was Born for an America’s Next Top Model photographed by Jez Smith 

· feeling lost              · seeking divine intervention
· desiring a “sign”      · feeling abandoned by the universe

Shattered mirror heels by Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte, Romper by Romance Was Born, Owl t-shirt by Burberry.
INNER: I recognize and appreciate the miracles all around me.

warningWARNING: Wear may cause boundless miracles and appreciation of the beauty of common moments.

magical-fashionAngela Lindval models Magical Fashion by Richard Burbridge, Harper’s Bazaar US

Are you waiting for something miraculous to happen in your life?

I’ve been asking for a miracle. It’s something I’ve done over the years for different reasons. “Please send a miracle, Universe” is a phrase I pleaded inwardly when a friend was ill with cancer, when I found out I’d need to have an early emergency C-section, while trying to pass a difficult exam, and even after circling a busy block several times in search of an open parking spot.

I think people ask for miracles in all sorts of situations. Most often when they need something or when they or someone they love is facing a life threatening challenge—or, in my case, whenever I drive on the 405 Freeway (I live in Los Angeles, folks).

Merriam-Webster says a miracle is:

  1. An unusual or wonderful event that is believed to be caused by the power of God
  2. A very amazing or unusual event, thing, or achievement
  3. An extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
  4. An extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
  5. Divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law


burrberryfallvidcapCara Delevingne models for Burberry’s ‘Woodland Adventure’ 

Last week I requested to witness a miracle—something that was so obvious and clear that I couldn’t ignore it. I was hopeful something stunning would reveal itself. I’d walk out to find a stack of cash on my doorstep or maybe a sign from nature like an owl sitting my balcony.

Instead, I came upon something horrifying. A mother and daughter were struck by a truck in a crosswalk in front of my daughter’s school on their way into class. The 4th grade girl sustained minor injuries, but sadly the mother was killed. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t fair. Why would something so awful happen?

A couple days later I came across a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”

The accident made me realize it wasn’t the “boom” kind of miracle I was looking for; rather, it was the ability to appreciate the miracles that already are, the simple and beautiful moments I often take for granted. We are blessed with miracles around every corner, every day. As I open my awareness to the “common” miracles, I feel myself expanding and appreciating how phenomenal and miraculous being alive is.

Shattered Mirrored Heels by Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte for Harper’s Bazaar US.

Inspired by author Arvind Devalia, I came up with a “miracle appreciation list” to help remind me of ordinary (if they can be called that) marvels:

The miracle of existence. Energy flows through our bodies and through the entire earth. Solar systems form and dissipate, and the Earth revolves around the sun. How the heck does any of it happen? What makes a waterfall flow, a sunset glow, a volcano erupt? How do all of the species of plants and animals on this planet survive and evolve? I know there are scientific explanations, but even so, life is mysterious and miraculous.

“If existence was ever a miracle, then existence is always a miracle.” – Andrew Schwartz

The miracle of our bodies. Blood pulses through our veins, our hearts pump, we breathe in oxygen and out CO2. Our wounds heal, our hair and nails grow, and our food is digested. Our bodies host all sorts of microcosms that work symbiotically, and it’s amazing how often I forget to appreciate the vessel I have that, for the most part, runs smoothly without much input or effort on my part.

The miracle of creativity. Imagination. A song.  Poetry. It’s the ability to put an experience into words that touch and inspire. Dancing, twirling, shaking to our very core. It’s found in the arts, nature, and in meaningful conversations. It can be simple but it always delights. Being creative beings is one of humankind’s greatest miracles.

The miracle of innovation. This absolutely falls under the creativity umbrella, but I felt it required its own paragraph because it’s so broad and important. The inventions humans have come up with never cease to amaze me: electricity, modern medicine, indoor plumbing, the Internet, sending humans to the moon. These commonly used innovations undoubtedly shape the world we live in.

The miracle of love. Loving friendships, romantic partners, and family are the most important aspects of most of our lives. The energy that flows between people is incredible and ineffable. It’s powerful and effortless. It’s a miraculous force that binds and fills us. Love is the most healing tool any of us can ever use or experience—and it’s free and always available if we choose to connect to it.

“Miracles: You do not have to look for them. They are there, 24-7, beaming like radio waves all around you. Put up the antenna, turn up the volume – snap… crackle… this just in, every person you talk to is a chance to change the world.” – Hugh Elliott

Miracles happen every day. It’s up to each of us to notice and appreciate them. What common miracles are you grateful for?


Please join our efforts in creating a safer crosswalk and better traffic solutions at the Citizens of the World Charter School in Hollywood by signing this petition. It can save lives!